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Pub Guide: Two Hands Bar
Two Hands Bar
311A Victoria St
Abbotsford VIC 3067
Two Hands Bar is an odd pub and a perfect beginning for an off-the-wall kind of night. Opening in 2014 it rests tight and snug along the northern side of Victoria St, Richmond just by the main shopping centre.
It’s an odd pub because it is neither a typical corner pub, nor a typical gastropub, craft beer pub, microbrewery pub or pokies pub. Two Hands Bar feels more like a backpacker bar on Khao San Road or Pham Ngu Lao or Sanlitun or any other backpacker area in a major Asian city. It fits into no established category in the Melbourne pub scene. It serves breakfast. It plays ridiculous music with absolutely no sense of irony or distance. It hosts cosplay nights. And it is dirt cheap.
The food is good value but not particularly tasty – think burgers, fried shit and the odd generic Asian fusion dish. Beer choice is very slim and restricted to lagers on its three taps, one of which is usually given over to cider. There are often drink specials making up for the lack of choice and plenty of spirits to be had. But with such a limited number of taps at least you always know the lager is fresh. Cricketer’s Arms and Asahi are the central brands. The bar owner waxes lyrical over Asahi. I have never seen a man so empowered by a dry Japanese lager.
In fact once you meet the owner the bar takes on a new resonance. Imagine a short, extroverted Italian man living in Japan for most of his life but who had to leave after “financial indiscretions”, loves all things Nippon and supposedly named his bar after the act of giving change with “two hands”. Get chatting and you will probably end up photographed, on the bar’s Facebook page and even the big-screen on the wall of the bar itself. You have been warned.
The real estate and outfit of the pub is pretty garish, following the urban backpacker bar feel, but without any backpackers. Instead on the few outdoor tables you can expect to see a mix of tradies out for the cheap lagers, well-dressed groups of youngsters having a pint before moving on for Vietnamese food elsewhere on Victoria St, and of course the odd rampant alcoholic who doesn’t know where he is but knows he can get beer there. There are outward-facing stools, some small booths, a tiny courtyard and a constantly-advertised rooftop bar that I haven’t seen open once.
Two Hands Bar. It’s a unique little nook in Melbourne’s pub scene. Check it out if you’re in the area and want a fresh, cheap watery lager with a burger for $20. Or pop up to the Baden Powell and have a nicer beer instead. It’s your call!